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Postpartum Didn’t Go the Way You Hoped

I remember sitting on the rocker on my porch in the early months after giving birth, staring into the backyard.

My baby was healthy and perfect. But I couldn’t gather myself to feel hopeful or look forward to the day.

I didn’t know what I was feeling — only that I wasn’t feeling right. I wasn’t myself.

If you've recently had a baby and find yourself thinking, “I should be grateful… so why do I feel so lost and like I’m failing?” — you’re not alone.

The Quiet Postpartum Struggle We Don’t Name

Many high-functioning Chinese and Asian American moms experience a quiet, under-recognized kind of distress. We often carry an intense internal pressure: to succeed, to be strong, to get it right — even when we’re running on fumes.

We may have grown up in families where emotions weren’t talked about, where achievement mattered more than self-compassion. So now, when motherhood brings waves of uncertainty, doubt, or resentment, we don’t know how to respond.

And often, we assume the problem is us.

What Postpartum “Failure” Actually Looks Like

It doesn’t always look like crying every day.
Sometimes it looks like:

  • Snapping at your partner for forgetting the pacifier — again

  • Crying because the baby won’t stop crying, and you can’t fix it

  • Feeling numb during feedings, even when you know you love your child

  • Feeling ashamed that this isn’t as joyful as you thought it would be

From the outside, you may seem fine.
But inside, you’re flooded — emotionally overloaded and unsure how to name it.

It’s Not Weakness. It’s Overload.

Feeling like a failure doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you care deeply — and you're emotionally maxed out.

In many Asian American communities, postpartum distress often goes unnoticed. We're taught to be grateful. To cope quietly. To keep moving.

But here’s the truth:
You can be grateful and still be struggling.
You can love your baby and still feel lost.
You can be strong and still need support.

Why I Created This Course

As a licensed mental health professional and a mom, I’ve seen this pattern over and over — especially among Asian and Chinese American women.

Capable, thoughtful moms who feel emotionally overwhelmed, but don’t know how to explain what’s happening — or whether it’s even valid.

That’s why I built this course.
Not just to talk about postpartum depression or anxiety, but to give you:

  • Language for the feelings you can’t name

  • Cultural insight into why this hits us the way it does

  • Tools and strategies to help you feel more like yourself again

Start Small. Start Real.

If any of this sounds familiar, here’s one place to begin:

Try naming three emotions you’ve felt this week — without judging them.
They might feel contradictory or confusing: relief, anger, blankness. That’s okay.
Naming them is the first step toward understanding them.

Want to Stay in the Loop?

If this resonates, I hope you’ll stay connected.

I’m building something that speaks directly to what many of us go through — and rarely talk about.
You can join the waitlist here and be the first to know when the course opens.