Why I Felt Lost After Birth — And Why You Might Too
I remember sitting on the rocker on my porch in the initial months after giving birth to my son, staring into the backyard. My baby was healthy and perfect, but I couldn’t gather myself to think hopefully or look forward to my day.
I didn’t know what I was feeling. I just knew I wasn’t feeling right. I wasn’t myself.
If you've recently had a baby and find yourself thinking, “I should be grateful… so why do I feel like so lost and like a failure?” — you’re not alone.
Many high-functioning Chinese and Asian American moms experience this quiet kind of postpartum distress. We often carry a deep internal pressure: to be strong, to succeed, to get it right — even when we’re overwhelmed or falling apart.
Many of us grew up with parents who didn’t always talk about emotions. Who may have pushed us to overachieve, but not shown us how to speak gently to ourselves when we struggle.
So now, when motherhood floods us with feelings we can’t name — uncertainty, doubt, resentment — we often don’t know what to do with them.
We often assume there is something wrong with us..
What Postpartum “Failure” Really Feels Like
It doesn’t always look like crying every day. Sometimes it looks like:
Snapping at your partner for forgetting the pacifier (again)
Crying because the baby won’t stop crying — and you can’t fix it
Feeling numb during feedings, even when you know you love your child
Feeling ashamed that you’re not enjoying this the way everyone says you should
From the outside, you may look like you’re holding it together. But on the inside, you’re flooded.
It’s Not Weakness — It’s Overload
Feeling like a failure doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you care deeply — and you’re emotionally maxed out.
Postpartum distress often goes unrecognized, especially in Asian American communities, because many of us are taught not to talk about what’s hard.
We’re taught to cope quietly. To manage. To be grateful.
But you can be grateful and still struggle.
You can love your baby and still feel lost.
This Is Why I Created My Course
As a licensed mental health professional and a mom, I’ve seen this story unfold over and over: caring, capable Chinese/Asian American moms feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or emotionally out of control — because no one taught us how to recognize and make sense of what was happening.
That’s why I’m building a course — not just to explain postpartum depression or anxiety, but to give you language, tools, and cultural grounding to help you understand what you’re feeling, and how to feel better.
You’re not broken. You’re not failing your baby.
You’re just adjusting to something bigger than anyone talks about — and you deserve support that speaks your language, both emotionally and culturally.
Want to Hear When It Launches?
If this speaks to you, I hope you’ll stay in the loop.
Join the waitlist here and be the first to know when the course opens.